Lost: Tuesdays with Mori

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First things first. Two and a half hours of television recapping is way too much to proofread, so you'll just have to forgive me my trespasses and learn to let go. Thoughts on the final episode of Lost, "The End", after the break:

  1. Oh boy. Here we go. We all, everybody!
  2. We open on the door of an Oceanic plane, opening up. Looks like they found Jack's dad's coffin. But I thought Desmond was just prank-calling about that. What the hell? Anyway, Jack, at work in his office, is looking at an x-ray. While, on the Island, he's looking at his trembling hands by a creek or something. Okay. Ben's making tea in LA. On the Island he's loading a gun and looking pensively at MIB, who is wrapping rope around his arm. In LA he's getting wheeled in for his can-walk-now surgery. Some manual laborers carry the coffin off the plane. Sawyer looks at his cop reflection in a broken mirror. On the Island he is hanging with Kate, checking out her wound. In LA she's sitting outside the museum where the concert's gonna be. Oddly, the Oceanic truck carrying Christian's coffin shows up there. All right... A greasy-looking dude hands it over to Desmond, who says he not a priest, he's "or something". Anyway, they wheel the coffin into the museum as Kate watches from the car. Desmond gets in and tells her that it's Christian's body. She makes fun of the symbolic weight of that name. About damn time. Anyway, Kate is sick of being in the dark and asks for some answers. "No one can tell you why you're here, Kate". Metaphorically. He tells her that he is her friend and wants "to leave". Where, she asks? He says "let me show you".
  3. On the Island, Kate sees Jack standing in a limpid pool. He looks kinda confused, yet powerful. Like a demigod. Sawyer approaches him and asks if he's okay. Jack says he is. Sawyer says he wants to know what the hell just happened (when Jack became the new Jacob). Jack says "that makes two of us". Not counting everybody in the audience. Anyway, he tells Kate and Hurley and Sawyer that they need to get to the glowing vagina pool before MIB can get there and put out the cave light. Sawyer supposes that MIB needs Desmond for that. Hurley says Jacob was "worse than Yoda", giving-clear-answers-wise. Sawyer goes off after Desmond, trading quips with Kate. Hurley says "I've got a bad feeling about this". I explain to John and Drew that that is the second Star Wars reference in 30 seconds.
  4. John hates Sleigh Bells for some reason. Drew and I both like them, though, because we know awesome music when we hear it.
  5. Hurley and Sayid pull into a cheap motel in Hollywood. Who's there? Hurley shows Sayid a tranquilizer gun. Hurley says "if you stick with me, you'll be happy you did". He goes inside and finds Charlie, hammered out of his gourd. Hurley is happy to see him (because Charlie was dead for years on the Island), but Charlie doesn't recognize him. Hurley comes in to convince Charlie to play the concert, just as I predicted LAST WEEK! Hurley says that playing the show is "the most important thing [he'll] ever do" but Charlie demurs. So Hurley shoots him in the back with a tranq dart! Nice. He puts sleeping Charlie in the trunk and they drive off.
  6. On the Island, Jack and Kate and Hurley walk around. He says he took Jacob's job because he was supposed to. "The Island's all I've got left". Bummer dude. Anyway, Kate says "nothing is irreversible" and Hurley says "this would be really sweet if we weren't all about to die". Yep.
  7. MIB winds rope some more. Ben pulls a gun on Sawyer, who's been watching from the shadows. Sawyer walks over and says he was coming to help Desmond get out of the well. MIB says he's there because he needs Desmond to destroy the Island. Sawyer asks what the next step is -- MIB says Sawyer and the rest of the candidates are dead meat. Then Sawyer explains that they're not candidates anymore. Then he hits Ben in the face and walks away. Ben is pissed off about how MIB is gonna kill the Island, but MIB offers to give Ben a ride out on his boat.
  8. OH MAN IT'S VINCENT. He finds and licks Desmond, who was passed out in Rose and Bernard's little cabin! They make him breakfast. It's idyllic. Desmond asks Rose how long they've been there. She says they were there for a few years starting in 77, then they time travelled, then they hung out some more. She says that Desmond's gonna need to get the eff out of there. She says she and Bernard have a strict non-participatory attitude. But of course breaking the rule once comes back to haunt them, because MIB and Ben wander into the camp. He says he'll kill Bernard and Rose if Desmond doesn't go with him. He vows to "make it hurt" and I believe him. Desmond says he'll go if MIB says he won't touch them, ever. MIB agrees, so Desmond says "I'll do what you want". MIB, ominously says "yes... you will". Ads, ads, ads. Drew is a big fan of the NBA fan with the autotuned vintage footage. I think it's a little ridiculous.
  9. MIB and Ben take Desmond through the forest. Desmond is expecting to go somewhere with a very bright light. "Just a hunch", he says. Ben's secret walkie talkie crackles. Nobody quite notices. It was Miles, radioing to say he found Alpert, who totally isn't dead. He is in a bunch of pain though, probably from being slammed into a tree by a smoke monster. Richard insists that they continue on their dumb mission to blow up the plane.
  10. LA. At the museum. Miles arrives ina suit with a skinny tie. He sees Sayid and Hurley drive by and is like, didn't we just lock that guy up? He calls Sawyer to tell him about it. Sawyer is a little worried. Miles asks Sawyer to look after Sun, the only survivor of Sayid's massacre! Now we see Jin and Sun. She's a little sore from getting shot in the belly. A doctor is coming to check on the baby. A doctor named Juliet??? Anyway, Jin wants them to run away and she's dubious. Also, here's Juliet. She's alive! And thrilled not to be on V. She checks out the baby on the ultrasound, and as she does so Sun has a flashback memory of Juliet doing the same thing on the Island! Remember? Sun says "I remember!" Jin is like, huh? Then Juliet shows the baby on the monitor and that triggers a Jin flashback for some reason. He remembers their reunion on the beach on the Island and a bunch of other stuff. Like the freighter blowing up. And them dying on the sub. That would be a pretty intense moment, which is pretty much how Sun and Jin react. Anyway, the baby's in perfect shape, says Juliet. It's a girl. Juliet's confused by their English, which just got awesome BTW. Nice one, guys, I like that twist.
  11. Sawyer runs through the forest and sneaks up on Jack and Kate and Hurley, whom he calls "bigfoot". He tells them MIB's going to the cave. Jack says they're going there too. I think we knew that already. Drew observes that the music sounds like Star Trek, which is utter nonsense.
  12. In LA, Jack talks to Locke pre-surgery. He asks if Locke is nervous. Locke asks if Jack's sure it'll work. Jack says he's confident but admits that there's a chance he might kill him. They giggle about that. Jack says "see you on the other side" and tells Locke that they found the coffin. Locke says "I hope that brings you some peace". Jack says that all he wants is to fix Locke.
  13. Richard and Miles get in an outrigger to sail over to the Hydra Island. Miles notices taht Richard's got his first grey hair. Awesome. Richard says "I think I just realized I want to live!" A dead body bumps up under the outrigger and they hear a guy yelling for help. IT'S LAPIDUS! He seems delighted to be rescued, as you might expect. They pull him into the outrigger as Drew asks "who's he?" They give him some water. I wonder how long he was floating around out there. They tell him they're going to blow up the plane, but Lapidus points out that instead of blowing it up he could just fly them out of there. Good point.
  14. Locke and his crew walk up towards the cave and run into Jack and his crew! Kate starts shooting at him. Kate, you know that won't work. Locke concurs. He walks up to Jack and they chat. Locke says Jack was "sort of the obvious choice" for candidate. Jack says he can't stop MIB, and in fact wants to go with him. He says that MIB's plan to destroy the Island won't work; Jack says he's going to kill MIB instead. MIB asks how, and Jack says "that's a surprise". Heh. MIB says "let's get on with it" and we go to commercial. This is pretty fun, I'm very much enjoying the continuous winks at us.
  15. Jack walks around in the hospital. He and Juliet chat about how she's his ex-wife. We're all completely unsurprised by this revelation. Except Drew. Jack suggests that his son take Claire to the concert. Then Juliet and Jack exchange witty banter.
  16. Sawyer walks into the hospital, looking for Sun. But I think she's already gone? We'll see.
  17. On the Island, Sawyer asks Jack what the killing-MIB surprise is. Jack says it's Desmond, but he doesn't really seem to know what the hell is gonna happen. Jack says he thinks Desmond is a weapon. Sawyer points out that "it's a hell of a long con". MIB stops and pulls a knife. He says it should just be Jack, Desmond, and himself for the rest of the walk. Jack's fine with that. Hurley pulls him aside and says "I believe in you, dude". Then he stares off into space as the three walk away.
  18. MIB hears thunder, looks up into the sky and says "gonna be a bad one". Metaphorically. Anyway, they get to the vagina cave, which Drew observes is not as bright as it used to be. MIB wraps that rope around a tree. Jack ties the other end around Desmond, who says "this doesn't matter, you know". Apparently it doesn't matter at all, presumably because Desmond's gonna fix everything by letting everyone live in LA X instead. Desmond describes it and says Jack's there, and they're best friends, and everything's wonderful. He offers to bring Jack there. Jack says "there are no shortcuts, no do-overs; what happened, happened ... all of this matters". Interesting. Desmond walks into the cave, with Jack and MIB close behind.
  19. LA, nighttime. Hurley and Sayid wait outside a bar. Hurley says he can't tell Sayid what they're doing there because he's not allowed. "There are rules, dude". Heh. He says he trusts Sayid, because he thinks Sayid is a good guy. This is sweet. He gives him a positive speech about how you get to decide for yourself what kind of person you are. Sayid is like, uh, I'm a merciless killer. Hurley is like, shut up, you're a good guy. They witness a bar fight between two dudes. But who are they? A woman runs over to break it up. A guy throws her. Sayid goes over to beat the crap out of the jerk and save the girl. WHO'S SHANNON! SHANNON!!!!~! Oh man, awesome. He helps her up and flashes back to their whole awesome relationship. Whoa! Hi Shannon! They both remember everything. This is some awesome closure, y'all. Oh also, the guy who got his ass kicked was Boone. Drew doesn't know who Boone is. What an idiot. Anyway. Shannon and Sayid make out on the street, which is extremely low-class. Hurley and Boone give them a minute to make out, then we flash to...
  20. Hurley, Jack, Ben, and Kate in the jungle. Miles radios to tell Ben that they're going to fly off the Island. He suggests that they all head over to Hydra. Meanwhile, Claire sneaks out and pulls a gun. Then she shoots the sand a bunch and accuses them of coming to kill her on MIB's orders. Richard protests, and says they're just trying to go home. He walks over for a hug and asks her to come with them. She says no and walks back into the forest. Okay, I guess that's sort of interesting.
  21. Desmond goes into the depths of the golden cave, lowered by Jack and MIB. MIB asks if this reminds Jack of anything. MIB points out that this is kind of like when Desmond was in the hatch. It's just like old times! Jack points out that MIB isn't Locke. Jack says Locke was right about everything, and he regrets not telling him so before he died. MIB says Locke was an idiot and Jack will see that when the Island falls into the ocean, taking Jack with it. Jack says we'll just have to wait and see, which DUH. The camera, facing up at MIB and Jack, pans down into the cave, in a shot reminiscent of the one at the end of season 1, when it was falling into the hatch. Remember? Commercials.
  22. It's a fundraiser! Jack's son and Claire walk in as Juliet runs to the hospital for something or other. Meanwhile, Charlie's passed out backstage. Charlotte wakes him up. Charlotte! Yay! He winks at her but she's not into it. She only has eyes for the good doctor, Dan Widmore. He's there! They chat about Charlie, who is the bass player for Driveshaft, who will be accompanying him on piano. Jack's son and Claire show up at Desmond's table. Kate's also there, and Claire is like WTF? What is she doing here??? Awesome.
  23. Pierre Chang (of the Human Fund!) welcomes everyone. He has both arms attached and working, and he introduces Dan Widmore and Driveshaft. Eloise is there to watch! Dan sits down and plays some shit on piano, because I guess in this reality his mom never made him quit piano to learn physics. Charlie spies Claire in the audience and stares at her intensely. She smiles back at him and then feels a contraction! She goes to the bathroom where presumably her water's going to break. Kate walks after her. Will she help Claire deliver her baby again, and in the process will they both remember the Island??? (Probably.)
  24. In the cave, Desmond sees a shitload of skeletons lying around. Then he sees a glowing pool with a pillar or rock or something in the middle of it. He starts to wade in after it. The pool starts flashing and apparently it hurts a lot, but he keeps staggering in after the weird glowing ball thing in the middle. Which he grabs and pulls up and out of the pool. Everything's still flashing, and epileptics the world over start having seizures. Slowly the light fades until it's entirely gone. As is the water, actually. Now, out of the hole where that stone was, a flame pops out, slowly growing in intensity. Desmond screams, "no!!!". MIB tells Jack, "it looks like you were wrong", and he walks out as the cave and the Island start shaking. It subsides quickly though and Jack runs after him and knocks him down and punches him in the face. As he sees MIB is bloodied, he says "it looks like you were wrong, too!" They fight a bit, then MIB smacks Jack in the side of the head with a rock and runs away as Jack lies dazed. Drew's unclear on exactly what just happened. I concur. John thinks Locke (MIB) had to be killed, and you had to unleash the Island's power to let him be killed. And once he's killed "they'll be able to plug it up again. Duh balls." We'll see. Commercial time!
  25. Claire wanders backstage at the concert, where there's a stuffed shark incidentally. She and Kate work on the baby delivery, as was foretold. Meanwhile, Dan Widmore plays piano. Desmond tells Eloise that he's decided to ignore her warning not to mess with these people. He says they're leaving, and she asks if he's going to take her son. He says "no", probably because Dan's already dead on the Island. Anyway, yeah, Kate's helping Claire deliver. Meanwhile, Charlie has wandered backstage to help or something. He goes after water and blankets. I think that happened on the Island. All of this has already happened on the Island, including most of the dialogue about how Claire and Kate are both scared about her having the baby. I wonder how the actress playing Claire felt about having to do another freaking birth scene? Kate's flashing to the Island during this, by the way. She seems confused and delighted. Also, Claire successfully has the baby, little Aaron, which sets off her Island memories. Kate cries. Charlie arrives with the blankets. Now Claire and Kate know him! But he doesn't know them yet! Kate says "thank you" but really for saving them on the Island, not for the blanket. Claire grabs his hand and he remembers everything! It's kind of sweet, even if he is wearing guyliner. He cries and kisses Claire. Desmond finds them all and smiles. He asks Kate if she understands. She says, "now what?" Meanwhile, John has been contemplating a fantasy baseball trade.
  26. We flash to the Island, where Saywer and Ben and Kate and Hurley got knocked down by the shaking Island. Also knocked down? A tree, which is about to fall on Hurley. Ben sees it and knocks him out of the way; alas, the tree lands directly on him, pinning him to the ground and presumably killing him. I mean, if he survived that I consider the entire series an artistic failure. We'll see. Jack, meanwhile, wakes up by the cave. Also, it's begun to rain. Jack stands up and looks around. Aw crap. He runs into the cave and calls after Desmond, who doesn't respond. So he runs off.
  27. Oh come on. Apparently Ben's just stuck, not dead. Everybody tries to move the tree as the Island shakes again but it doesn't work. Sawyer says the Island is going down. Kate hears Miles on the walkie talkie. They're uncovering the plane so they can take off and leave. Lapidus says the plane won't be ready for 5 or 6 hours, but Miles says to get over there in an hour? I didn't follow.
  28. MIB stands by that cliff where the cave with the names on the wall is, looking out at his boat. Jack finds him and calls out at him. Locke pulls his knife and they run at each other! Jack jumps like the guy in 300 and comes down punch-first. But before we see if the punch connects, we go to another goddamn commercial.
  29. Okay, we're back. Turns out they just kind of fell into each other and rolled around. But then Jack punches him in the face! I guess the knife's gone? Jack gets MIB in a headlock! But MIB punches him a bunch! But then the Island shakes around! They see the knife and both run after it. Then Jack starts choking MIB! Then the cliff starts falling apart! Then MIB reaches the knife@! Then he stabs Jack in the side! Like Jesus. Then he tries to stab him again but Jack catches his arm. The knife scratches his neck, just like the scratch Jack saw in the mirror last episode. MIB says something or other and is about to stab Jack in the face, but then he gets SHOT IN THE BACK BY KATE! Awesome. She says "I saved you a bullet!" Anyway, Jack kicks MIB off the cliff and he smashes his head on a huge rocky tor and yep, he's dead.
  30. At the hospital, Jack's neck is bleeding. Also, Locke is waking up. Jack asks him not to move. Locke says "it worked" and Jack thinks he's talking about the surgery. I guess he is, because Locke says he can feel his legs. And he can move his feet! So I guess it did work. Locke's pretty excited, but then he flashes and remembers everything about the Island. I guess Jack'll be the last one to remember, because he's still in the dark. Locke smiles/cries and asks, "you don't remember?" As he does, Jack starts to remember. Locke says they need to go, and asks Jack to go with him. Jack says he needs to go see his son. Locke says "you don't have a son" -- Jack is confused/worried about that, and asks the nurse to sedate Locke. He says "I hope somebody does for you what you just did for me," and smiles at him. Matthew Fox does some serious non-speaking acting and walks away. John asks "do you think his son's not real, and he's just imagining it?" We go to commercial yet again.
  31. We open with a shot of the caves overlooking the boat, where Kate is helping Jack back up. He's been stabbed pretty hard. Also, it stopped raining. Sawyer and Hurley come over. Kate says "Locke's dead... it's over." Sawyer goes to look. As he does, the Island shakes again and Sawyer points out that it may not be quite over yet.
  32. Sawyer finds Sun and Jin in the hospital. They remember him from the Island but he doesn't remember them back. They are happy to see him. He tells them Sayid's after them. They say they don't need protection and walk out. Sun says she's safe. Jin says "we'll see you there" and Sawyer asks where? But they're already gone!
  33. Lapidus is checking all the shit on the plane. Looks like there's a problem with the hydraulics. Miles is in charge of fixing it even though he doesn't really know what he's doing. Lapidus radios to Ben, "don't bother me!" which is funny. The Island shakes again. Maybe time to get off that cliff, guys. Kate doesn't understand why it's happening now that MIB's dead. Jack says he needs to get back to the cave and turn it back on. Kate says Jack can go with them to the plane, but we all know he isn't doing that. Sawyer's in charge of getting them to the plane. Looks like Ben's gonna stick with Jack. "If this Island's going down, I'm going down with it!" [That's what she said.] Hurley wants to stay with Jack, too. Jack tells Kate she has to go put Claire on the plane. She cries a little bit and says "tell me I'm going to see you again". He can't, because he doesn't know! And then they make out in public, like Sayid and Shannon. Kate says she loves him and he reciprocates. Or should I say, reciproKATEs? I shouldn't, I know. Anyway, Hurley and Ben help him away from the cliff. Commercials.
  34. Miles and Richard work on the hydraulics system. "I don't believe in a lot of things, but I do believe in duct tape." Funny, Miles! The Island shakes AGAIN. At least it's not jumping in time, though. That got annoying fast. Anyway, Lapidus radios to Sawyer and says they need to get to Hydra Island ASAP. Sawyer tells Kate they're gonna have to jump into the water to get to the boat. Kate just jumps right in, cool as a cucumber.
  35. Sawyer runs into Jack at the hospital and asks where there's food. Jack points him to a vending machine (the one where Jacob handed him an Apollo bar!). Sawyer gets there and buys... yep. An Apollo bar. But it gets stuck! Just like when Jack bought one once! Sawyer tries to dig it out and who should appear but his dear sweet Juliet! She asks if he needs any help. They exchange banter. It's cute. She says that if he unplugs the machine and plugs it back in, the bar will drop. He does so, and the fuse blows, but the candy falls down! Also, they touch hands and she remembers everything. And she says the stuff about getting coffee sometime that we remember her saying in the first episode of this season. They remember each other! Kissing! Fans everywhere delight at their reunion. This is pretty good. Sawyer is happy to see her. She cries a little bit, happily. They make out. There's a lot of making out and wading in water in this episode. It's like Real World: Las Vegas.
  36. Jack arrives at the concert. He sees Kate, who walks over to him and says "it's over". She means the concert. Kinda. She smiles at him. He says he's looking for his son. He kinda remembers her, because of the whole Locke thing. But also, she tells him about from stealing his pen on Oceanic 815 (the one that landed successfully). But she says that's how he knows her. She holds his face in her hands and says she's missed him so much. He has some more flashes and asks her what's happening to him. Who she is. She says if he comes with her, he'll understand. Just do it, Jack.
  37. Flash to the Island, where Hurley is helping him to the cave. Ben just walks around behind them. Remember when he was pinned under a tree? How did he get out of there again? Anyway, Jack says he's going down there alone. Jack suggests to Hurley that he's probably not going to survive for a return trip. Hurley says he won't let Jack die. Jack says he's already dead. This is what he's supposed to do. Hurley is upset. Jack says the Island needs Hurley to take over for him. Jack says Hurley's the one who's supposed to protect the Island. Hurley agrees, on a temporary basis. He says he's giving it back to Jack after Jack fixes the cave. The Island shakes again. Jack gets some water to turn into magic juice, and gives it to Hurley. Hurley drinks it and grows giant muscles and punches a hole in the sky. Just kidding. Nothing much happens. But I guess Hurley's like Jack now.
  38. The plane. Lapidus starts her up. It works! OMG! IT WORKS!
  39. Hurley lowers Jack into the cave. Ben helps. The Island shakes again and they kinda drop him but he's okay. Sorta. He unties himself and starts walking in, where the hellmouth is in full force. He wakes up Desmond, who says he turned out the light. Jack helps him out of the way and tells him that he's gonna put the stone back in the hole. He ties Desmond up safely and says "I'll see you in another life, brother". Classic.
  40. Sawyer and Kate wash up on the beach at Hydra Island. As they look back, huge chunks of the main Island are tumbling into the sea. Claire, on Hydra, is just kind of staring into space. The plane is moving, meanwhile, backing up (I thought jets only moved forward -- don't they need helper vehicles to back them up? CONTINUITY ERROR!). Anyway, Claire's worried about going back to the real world because she's gone nuts and Aaron might not like her. But Kate talks her into it so they run over to the plane, which Lapidus is preparing to take off in. Doesn't look like they'll make it, though, as Lapidus is throttling up for takeoff. D'oh. They radio over but he can't hear. But then just as Lapidus is about to go Sawyer runs over and waves at them. So they stop and open up for Sawyer, Kate, and Claire. Okay.
  41. Jack crawls over to the stone that needs to get plugged back in the hole. He slowly drags it over. It looks heavy. But okay, he gets it in. Nothing appears to have changed, though. Everything's still shaking and burning and stuff. WTF!
  42. The trio gets on the plane with Miles, Richard, and Lapidus, who says "we're running out of time!" Whatever. Oh, but they kind of are, because cracks are opening up below the plane. But off it goes. I wonder if they'll make it. They approach the end of the runway and Lapidus pulls up. Up she goes, just in time! Nice shot of the plane shooting up into the air, as Lapidus says "amen". Everybody on the plane seems pretty happy about this. Kate and Claire hold hands! Sawyer looks out the window and we cut to...
  43. Jack, in the cave, where everything remains awful. Oh, but water is dripping in and filling the pool! And the golden light is back! Okay, so it was just a delayed reaction. Jack cries with delight. Some nice shots of the cave working. Hurley and Ben pull on the rope, but I don't think it's tied to Jack anymore. It's not! It's Desmond! Hurley and Ben are confused and now worried because Jack's lying in the pool, crying happily. And is presumably going to drown! Commercials.
  44. We open on a statue of Christ, palms outstretched. Subtle, guys. Locke pulls up in a taxi. The driver takes a wheelchair out of the trunk and helps Locke into it. Locke seems very happy as he wheels in and sees Ben, sitting and looking at the church. They say hi to each other, and Locke asks if everyone's already inside. Ben says they are. He apologizes for what he did to Locke. He says he was jealous, and wanted everything Locke had. Locke asks what that was. Ben says he was special. Locke says that he forgives Ben, who says that matters more than he can say. Okay. He says he's going to stay here (LA?) a while, and says he doesn't think Locke needs to be in the chair anymore. And he's right. Locke gets up and walks into the church! That's got to be a good feeling. John asks, "what is Ben?" and I just have no idea how to answer that question. So yeah, Ben watches as Locke goes into the church and we flash back to the Island.
  45. Ben tends to an unconscious Desmond, who he says is going to be okay. Hurley observes that Jack's gone. Ben nods. Hurley cries. He asks Ben what he's supposed to do. Ben tells him to do what he does best: take care of people. He suggests that Hurley doesn't have to do things the way Jacob did them. Hurley asks Ben to help. Ben is sooooooo psyched. He says he'd be honored. Nice. I guess he's over that whole getting-crushed-by-a-tree thing, huh?
  46. Meanwhile, he sits outside the church. Hurley walks out and invites him in. Ben declines, though. Hurley tells him "you're a real good number 2", which I think means he's a piece of shit. But Ben doesn't take it that way -- he says "you're a great number 1". Hurley goes back inside as Jack and Kate pull up in his jeep. Jack says they're at the church where Jack was gonna have his father's funeral, and asks why she brought him there. She says they're going to have a funeral! She tells him to come in when he's ready to leave. To leave for the Island,w here he's dead? Seems like a raw deal.
  47. Oh hey. Maybe he's not dead, since we flash to him waking up on the Island, in the same place where MIB's human body washed up after Jacob threw him into the golden cave. He still seems pretty hurt but I guess he didn't drown, anyway.
  48. He walks into the church in LA, into an office covered in religious symbols from many different nations and denominations. It's like a unitarian study. In it he also finds a coffin. He approaches it, touches it, and has another flash of the Island. I guess this is the big one, where he remembers everything, finally. He opens the coffin, which is empty. He closes it and hears his father's voice. He turns around and sees him, standing there! Jack asks what the hell is going on. Christian asks Jack "how are you here?" Jack says "I died too". Christian hugs him and says "it's okay, son". Jack cries. They say they love each other. Christian assures Jack that they're both real; that everything that's ever happened to him is real; that all the people in the church are real. Jack says "they're all dead?" and Christian points out that everybody dies eventually. This is kind of bleak. Anyway, Christian observes that "there is no now here". So LA X is purgatory? The Island's real and LA X is purgatory? Apparently, as the Architect would say, it's a construct they created to find each other. Christian says they all needed each other "to remember; and let go". Christian explains that they're not leaving. They're "moving on". To the great unknown.
  49. Jack and Christian go into the church, where everybody's smiling and hugging and stuff. Meanwhile, on the Island, he's staggering through the jungle. In church, Locke says they've been waiting for Jack. Oh, there's Desmond and Penny. Okay. Boone! Poor Boone has no one to make out with but he gets to hug Jack at least. Well look, Jack's hugging everybody so let's just take that as a given. Also, he gets to kiss Kate. Rose and Bernard are there, too. No Walt or Michael though :( On the Island, he finds a nice little clearing in the sun and dies, amongst the bamboo where he first woke up on the Island. Vincent runs over and licks his face, to Jack's delight. Vincent lies down next to him as Jack turns his head to the sky. In the church, Christian opens the doors and walks out into a golden light which illuminates the whole interior. Jack looks at Kate and smiles. Finally, on the Island, we see Jack, facing up, as the plane flies over and out. We close with a shot of his eye, closing, right were it opened to start the pilot.
  50. LOST
  51. Lost has never had anything over the closing credits but music. Weirdly, however, over these credits we get a bunch of static shots of the original crash wreckage, empty. Is the point of that that everyone found peace, so the crash survivors were somehow not there after the crash anymore? I don't really get it. A Sopranos-esque thing to get people talking, I guess? What do you think it meant?

Final final thoughts: I'm not really going to spend too much time trying to figure out what happened, exactly. I'll just say that the episode was pretty satisfying. Wildly predictable in many ways, and not terribly clear with respect to the nature of LA X, and perhaps a bit heavy on the inclusion of details and characters meant to reward long-time viewers, but not bad. Kind of strange that in the end, the only characters who made it off the Island were Claire, Kate, Sawyer, Richard, Miles, and Lapidus -- the last three weren't even on the show in the first season! But I guess it's implied that Ben, Hurley, and Desmond could leave the Island, too, in the future. But again, 2/3 of that group wasn't around in season one. I guess that's not really what we're supposed to be focusing on; rather, we're supposed to be focusing on the surviving characters accepting their various roles, and finding some kind of closure.

Speaking of which, let's talk briefly about how they created the LA X/purgatory timeline. It started when Juliet set off the bomb at the end of last season, right? But what is it, and what's its purpose? It turned out that Desmond was going around getting everyone's memories back, which allowed us all to enjoy seeing various couples get back together etc. However, none of the stuff that happened in LA X ended up making any difference whatsoever with respect to what happened on the Island. It was just an artificial closure machine, basically. So why bother? They defeated MIB and saved the Island/world without any help from LA X -- the information really only flowed one way, toward the Matrixy joyworld where muddle religious symbolism brought everyone inner peace. Did we just spend half of the season on self-indulgent fanservice allowing many of the characters who got a raw deal on the Island to get a happy ending of sorts without really earning it? I think the answer's not no. But it was fun to watch Miles and Sawyer as buddy cops, and to see Jack as a relatively well-adjusted dude who doesn't drink all the time and grow giant beards. And it provided the opportunity to get cameos from the many, many secondary characters who've been killed off over the last six years. So even if it's patent nonsense that really didn't serve any purpose with respect to the overarching plot, I can't really be too upset about it.

And as for everything that happened on the Island... I was satisfied. Did the stone cork that held in the golden magical light really make sense? I dunno, not really? But it served its purpose, as a MacGuffin to be resolved in dramatic, powerful fashion. And how did Ben survive getting crushed by an enormous tree? Uh, the Island's powerful magnetic fields? Sure, whatever it takes. And, you know, there are a hundred other things I could take issue with, but it all worked well enough for me. We got to see a bunch of small victories (like Miles fixing the hydraulic system with duct tape and sarcastic remarks) and, ultimately, one big one. Jack got to do what he does best -- hurt himself for the benefit of others -- and we got to see Hurley step up and be more than a surrogate for the audience. Lapidus defied the odds (or, rather, the certainties) and survived being unconscious in a sinking submarine. Rose and Bernard got to show some hospitality once again (I wonder how they felt when the Island started shaking and sloughing off acres of cliff), and Vincent made an entirely unnecessary reappearance. It was silly and implausible, on the whole, but at this point complaining about Lost being silly and implausible is like complaining about New York being expensive. It comes with the territory.

In the end, I wasn't expecting much from the finale. I was sure they wouldn't be able to answer all of our questions, and the sheer number of characters we care(d) about made it impossible to believe we'd get satisfying conclusions to everyone's stories. All I was really hoping for was what we got, an ambitious effort to bring things back around and justify the time we've all spent following the show. The finale was ridiculous in a lot of ways, but it was everything we've come to know about Lost over the last six years, good and bad: action-packed but kind of whimsical; focused on character and dramatic arcs; cheesy at times; filled with meandering (and at-times incoherent) plots and often-predictable "twists"; and responsive to what the writers know fans want to see, even if it doesn't totally make sense. And although we sort of got an "it was all a dream" ending, that description was mercifully reserved for the unimportant yet emotionally-rewarding sideshow that was LA X. And, in fact, the real ending we got, which I think is hard to even notice between all the heavenly imagery and tearful reunions that dotted the last hour of the show, is really kind of dark: a reminder that almost every character we cared about died, some of them died quite badly, and even those who are still alive aren't going to live forever. Who would have thought that Lost's ultimate message would be a memento mori?