Category Archives: Television

Lost: Kwon Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

Here we go — Lost spoilers follow, brought to you without copy-editing or even the bare minimum of revision by our sponsor, 7-year aged rum, :

  1. Previously on Lost: Jin. So Jin will be in this one. Richard’s nuts and Hurley told him he has to stop MIB. Jack’s playing MIB and Widmore against each other so he can hijack a submarine, which he obviously can’t drive. Okay, let’s get to the new stuff. Continue reading

Your reality TV reminder.

The Top Chef finale is tonight at 10EST. Watch as Dave gets upset and self-destructs. See Tiffani make snide remarks about her superiority. Observe Harold’s haughty confidence and filthy language. It’s going to be awesome.
My prediction: Tiffani over Harold in the most outrageous injustice in the history of cable television.

Also, if you missed last week’s reunion show, you should definitely try to catch it at 9 tonight, because it was hilaaaaaaaaaaaarious. The best part is when Tiffani tries to steal Dave’s present, but there’s so much more to it. Very enjoyable.

Yes, I watch crappy television.

If you didn’t see the Grey’s Anatomy finale last night (and, for some reason you care), stop reading–SPOILERS AHEAD.
I was browsing the fake blog for a nurse on Grey’s Anatomy this morning and, well, I think I’ll let these comments speak for themselves:

Its so sad that Denny dies when izzie layed there i started to cry it was just so heartbreaking and the fact that he asked he to marry him makes it so much worse :(

Posted by: Lindsay | May 16, 2006 at 08:13 AM

i was really upset when denney died because iwas really hoping that izzie and denney got and she would be happy and ready to have another baby.

Posted by: twilight | May 16, 2006 at 08:24 AM

And here are a few somewhat coherent comments from the official writers’ blog:

I’ve worked in hospitals, and because of the births, deaths and everything in between that happens there, the staff is unusually dedicated and hard-working. I too think that the finale had too many over-the-top scenarios in which the staff was acting in totally unbelievable and unprofessional ways. Several people are injured in a shooting (one example), and yet it’s deemed imperative to hold a hospital-wide PROM?! for a teenager who is not too sick to attend? What nonsense. Really. [Amen–ed.]

Posted by: Mary | May 16, 2006 at 07:04 AM

I’m so disgusted with GA right now, and want to say so much, but will only say that you may as well just write Derek off the show after what you’ve done to this character! You’ve taken what many of us Mer/Der fans used to adore and see as a great love and love story, and turned it into something that doesn’t even resemble love, just sex and a very selfish man who doesn’t seem to really care about ANYONE but himself and what he wants. That’s not why you drew in so many loyal fans to GA, and it really sucks that this it what this show has become; characters who no longer seem to have any redeeming qualities and who I find it impossible to even care about anymore. This finale was such a letdown after such a buildup and I don’t even care anymore about where this will go next season. [Amen–ed.]

Posted by: Angela L. | May 16, 2006 at 06:47 AM

What do I think? Well, first of all, of course Denny died. That was the only way I could have possibly stomached Izzie’s bizarre and hideous behavior–I mean, I don’t even know where to start on that. Next: I don’t know if I was ever really interested in Meredith at all–does she even practice medicine anymore, or is it just the same old stupid fights in hallways and elevators with occasional breaks to make terrible decisions about her personal life?–but it’s safe to say that I don’t care at all which guy she picks (well, except to say that sometime in the middle of the season Derrick went from a nice guy doing the best he could in a bad situation to a complete asshole who we now know for a fact has no deep problems with cheating on his wife, so I guess I hope she picks him and they both fall down a mine shaft).

I think the finale was an appalling mix of obvious melodrama (Denny dying, that STUPID STUPID prom) and reprehensible behavior (Meredith and Shepherd have got to be the least sympathetic star-crossed lovers in the history of television, and Izzie is an awful person who acted incredibly unprofessionally and risked not only her career but her friends’ careers–oh yeah, and a patient’s life). With the actually interesting medical stuff taking a backseat to run of the mill soap opera crap, the last few weeks of this show have been extremely disappointing. It reminds me of the O.C.’s precipitous fall in its second season, during which time all the characters started acting completely implausibly in a transparent effort to advance increasingly-absurd plotlines along. The thing that made both shows entertaining–the dialogue, the characterization, the unexpected quirks that had nothing to do with the momentary drama–gave way to cheap and clich├ęd plot twists and love triangles, leaving nothing but a great soundtrack.

To awkwardly touch on a subject I’ve already touched on once this week: Aaron Sorkin, when not drugged out of his gourd, keeps his eye on the prize–compelling and intelligent television. I wish anybody else in television did the same.

I think he found a tailor around February of 2003.

Turns out that on his first day, Jon Stewart was neither funny nor well dressed. Still, I think we can all agree that it’s pretty cool that the Daily Show website offers (immaculately tagged!) clips from shows going back to 1999. Thanks, internet, for this (from before Colbert was a hawk!):

Quick reviews of TV shows!

  • Lost: Getting better. Of course, after two more episodes they’re going to be off the air for a few months. But it’s nice that they’re answering some questions, and this is the best-looking show on the air.
  • Friday Night Lights: Worth watching even though most of the characters are jerks. Not super cheerful, though.
  • Top Chef: Totally excellent. This show is great. But why wasn’t anyone involved in the show annoyed at Marissa for selling Otto out? She’s a total Omarosa, I’m telling you. But it’s probably good that Otto left–he was quickly becoming as emotional and spastic in the kitchen as Dave was last season. Plus, what he did was incomprehensibly stupid and he deserved to get kicked off for it–so he did the right thing by volunteering to bow out of the competition. Anyway. Great show. I will almost certainly be writing a lot more about it as the season continues.
  • Heroes: Well made but ridiculous. If you’re going to cheat in a casino, don’t do it by switching cards with a guy across the table from you and using the cards he’s already seen in his own hand to beat him. That example is from last week because I haven’t watched this week’s episode yet. Anyway, I guess I’ll keep watching–but I’m just looking for a reason to drop it (see The Nine, below).
  • 30 Rock: Alec Baldwin is very funny. The show is not, at least not so far. It’s got two more weeks to improve.
  • 20 Good Years: Awful. George Bluth has fallen very far. Hackneyed jokes and uninteresting/unrealistic plotlines (Daphne from Frasier is a cool punkrock club owner and finds both guys attractive after 5 minutes of dumb dialogue in her club?) don’t make for compelling television. And high definition is not kind to either of the leads. No more DVR season pass for this one.
  • Studio 60: I will keep watching, just as I kept watching West Wing during the 3 or 4 years when it was just awful and stupid. And hopefully it will get better eventually, just as West Wing did in its last couple of years. But I’m not counting on it.
  • Grey’s Anatomy: Ugh. No more.
  • The Office: Still the funniest show on television. But the promos are abysmal. NBC feels the need to make the romantic plotlines the selling point for both The Office and Studio 60 when they are in fact peripheral to the plots of each episode. To be honest, I don’t care whether Jim and Pam ever get together, and more generally I don’t care about the romantic lives of these characters–except in that they make it funnier. How about you tell me what the episode will actually be about (the boss takes everyone to the circus and asks out a mime!, Creed secretly distills moonshine in the supplies closet!, they decide to do diversity training again because it was hilarious last time!, etc.). At any rate, I have nothing bad to say about the show itself, because it just keeps getting better and better.
  • 1 vs. 100: I don’t have much to add to Ken Jennings’s thoughts on the show. The rules are a mess and dilute the drama to the point that it’s hard to care at all about what’s happening. And the questions start out so easy that it’s not much fun to play along. It’s no Deal or No Deal, that’s for sure. But Sagat is willing to touch the contestants, which is a plus.

How to block ESPN Motion (that obnoxious video that automatically plays whenever you visit*

  • First, you need to be using Firefox. Please, if you’re using a PC… just use Firefox. I’m willing to entertain arguments for Safari, but to be using Microsoft Internet Explorer at this point is just… wrong. Objectively wrong. Don’t do it.
  • Next, install the Adblock extension the Adblock Plus extension (which you should really be using anyway). Adblock, well, blocks ads online. It comes with a huge list of automatically-blocked ads, which is neat, but the great thing about it is that you can manually add other ads to the list. Like, I don’t know… the ESPN Motion video that starts whenever you visit
  • Next (after you restart Firefox to activate the Adblock extension), click on “Tools” in the menu bar. Then click on “Add-ons.”
  • Highlight Adblock and click on the “Options” button.
  • In the “New Filter” box, enter this:*
  • Click “Done.”

And that’s it. No more stupid videos advertising “Who’s Now” or WNBA broadcasts or Steven A. Smith’s newest show, “Spittin’ Mad With Steven A. (Brought to You by Cheetos)”. Enjoy.

* ESPN, you really need to find a way to turn this off by default. Everyone hates it. Most of us visit your site from work, you know? We can’t have this nonsense.